mother_daughter_conflict_021205_1807_0024_lsls-624x415“The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said”   -Peter F Drucker

Effective communication is key to a successful relationship. Communication is one of the most critical skills that can “make you…or break you”. In the mother daughter relationship this skill has an incredible impact on the trajectory of your daughters life.

Let us talk for a moment about the critical nature of non-verbal communication. What is non-verbal communication: our gestures, facial expressions, distance, body language, body movements, distractions, touch, etc. According to Albert Mehrabian only 7% of communication is verbal which means …93% of communication is NON-VERBAL.

Here are Five tips to effectively communicateNON-Verbally “with your daughter :

  1. Timing

The most critical piece is knowing the correct time to have a conversation. Choose a time that you are both relaxed and in an “open” mood. Maybe cook your daughters favorite meal or go for a walk.

  1. Keep it Short

Be concise! Say it once or twice and stop.

Research has shown that advice from your mother holds a lot of weight. Trust me, your daughter heard you the first time. Saying something more than two times is considered “ranting” and it can cause your daughter to shut down.

  1. Planting the seed

The average persons immediate response is to reject a new idea. So take your time. Allow your daughter to “ease’ into the idea. Suggest something once on different occasions…if you do this correctly, without realizing it, your daughter will begin to believe your seed was her original idea.

  1. Smile

The universal language of approval and warmth.

  1. Pay Attention

When your daughter is speaking to you. Stop what you are doing, to show her that her words are valuable. In return she will learn to do the same.

Dr. Donna Cill