“Please come walk with me on the beach” I said to my thirteen-year-old daughter Kennedy…and to my surprise without any hesitation what-so-ever she said “OK .” We walked down the beach and we talked about the sounds of the ocean, her friends and some famous instagram person she follows. I love hearing her speak. I love listening to what is important to her at this stage of her life. I also worry about her from time to time, I worry about her future, friends and the social climate.
As we continued down the beach… out of nowhere I said to Kennedy ” I made two major mistakes in my life” I started to explain the first mistake and she became quiet. I explained why it was a mistake… and if I understood what I do now I would have made a better decision. I stopped talking for a moment and to my surprise, Kennedy asked
” What was the other mistake?” Kennedy was not only listening …she was actively engaged.
Here are three tips to know when or if you should “Share your experience”
1.When you just can’t get through to your daughter!
Chances are your daughter is more like you were at her age; than you remember! Reflect on a time in your life that will help her to “get back on track” and share it.
This is the most challenging part of communication. Knowing the right time to share an experience. Learn your daughter’s patterns of behaviors, choose a moment when she is happy and or relaxed and casually begin to speak.
3. To Teach Life Lessons
Without realizing it, I spoke to Kennedy about my mistakes to prevent her from making the same ones. Share your story in an unassuming way and pause to get the feedback.